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When I started this blog, it was all about me.
I mentioned that I had children,
even included their pictures and talked about them sometimes,
but it was about me. (Me, me, me!)
but it was about me. (Me, me, me!)
About finding myself after burn out and depression.
A place to share and store my little projects.
A place where I could be me.
A place where I could be me.
Along the way I rediscovered my love for writing and photography
and I started to write longer posts. (Sorry!)
But somewhere along the line my kids took over.
I kind of retreated from motherhood during my depression.
I kind of retreated from motherhood during my depression.
It went very gradually.
I still hugged my kids, took care of them and absolutely loved them.
But there was this part of me,
that started to be convinced, that I was a horrible mother.
that started to be convinced, that I was a horrible mother.
Why was everything taken so much energy?
Why did I find mothering three kids so hard,
while others seemed to be doing it easily.
while others seemed to be doing it easily.
It must be me, I thought.
I discovered that I'm not a horrible mother,
I discovered that there was nothing wrong with me.
Ehm, no, actually, I discovered that there was something wrong with me,
but that it was not my fault.
I discovered that there was nothing wrong with me.
Ehm, no, actually, I discovered that there was something wrong with me,
but that it was not my fault.
And being a mother while thinking: "I suck at this," is no fun.
Right now, I'm a mother who thinks: "I'll be fine, I can handle this."
It's such a huge difference.
Right now, I'm a mother who thinks: "I'll be fine, I can handle this."
It's such a huge difference.
So this is still NOT a mommy blog, it's a mother's blog.
( I am mostly trying to convince myself)
It's a blog about me, my battle against depression,
and all the things I love and that includes my kids!
(Yes, I love my husband too, but I grant him a little bit of privacy.)
and all the things I love and that includes my kids!
(Yes, I love my husband too, but I grant him a little bit of privacy.)
So to answer that question,
I speak for my soul.
A soul that has been silent and broken for way too long.
But that soul is coming out of her shell.
I speak for my soul.
A soul that has been silent and broken for way too long.
But that soul is coming out of her shell.
